Wish I had read this before my last shoot!

I’ve been on a rollercoaster with this whole film production thing. I was really into it, then I was going to give up on it, then I gave it another shot, then I was going to give up on it again, but now I’m going to go for it. For reals this time.

Even though I had “given up” on it, I was/am still working in it. A friend I made on the first film I worked told me that she would have me work on her film (which is happening right now, about a year after the offer). But during the summer she asked me to work on her web series as an intern, which I’ve been doing for over 6 months now. And I do like the work. I think that I was giving up on it because of bad experiences, or the lack of pay. Well, forget it, I have got to try. I want this now. Make this shiz happen.

Today I have to see if I can find a company that has stock footage of an orphanage burning.

OMG. True that. That’s why I am going to go with tip #1 from now on.

goingforpicture:

6h057:

How To Be A Production Assistant:

1. Don’t
2. For the love of God, don’t answer your walkie
3. If the 1st AD knows your name you will be stuck on set
4. If the 2nd AD knows your name you will be stuck babysitting the background
5. If the producer knows who you are you will be driving him and the director to dinner. Expect to sit in a minivan for 4 hours
6. Avoid eye contact at all costs
7. If you smoke you’ll be dead by 50 
8. If you do drugs your career choices will increase ten fold
9. If you’re selling drugs those career choices will be actual, granted you sell to the right people
10. Be prepared to wake up every morning at 4am, then sit by the breakfast truck and listen to actors bitch about having to be in before 10am
11. No one ever gets paid what they think they should be getting paid
12. No one except those in film production get paid to do such lucrative shit (set up and breakdown tents for 4 hours, nap for 6; total cost $200 a day)
13. Your parents will never have any idea what you do, yet will always look forward to seeing your name credit in the terrible movies they watch
14. The more deluded you are the better prepared you’ll be
15. You are a whore, your only hope is that you’re not the biggest whore
16. I swear to God, hearing “Good job” gets me half-mast every time
17. Every time I head out to Secaucus, NJ to pick up at Arri/CSC I always think of how it would be really easy to bury a body out there. Then I get really scared at how I might be asked to do that some day
18. The lowest level of hell is for liars, child molesters and people who come up to me while I’m doing street lockup
19. PAs telling you to hold on a minute while the crew is shooting know your day has been ruined by stopping. Keep giving them shit. They want to help you wait longer
20. Everybody wants to be a director, nobody wants to take direction
21. Film school is a waste of money, time and youth if you find yourself working in production
22. You will never be creative for pay
23. Cynicism is your currency, a bad attitude is the product that you buy. Your dealer is the asshole you’ll become
24. Corporate efficiency has sustained the business for the last 15 years, you can still work in the apprentice/steward fashion but most work will be much like a 9 to 5 atmosphere, except you’ll be working 6am to 6pm. And have no health insurance. How’s that for synergy?
25. Your health is your biggest asset. Drinking to excess is your only therapy. Death before 60 is less a concern than goal
26. Crying won’t do you any good, but your breakdown will be entertaining to the other crew people
27. Only after your ambition is dead can you really start to enjoy your work
28. Never dress nice. Never
29. Have a hobby, like blogging, but never tell anybody about it
30. If you tell people about your hobby they probably won’t care because they can’t stand to see another person enjoying something

We have ended principle photography for this picture, now I can resume my normal activities. For my first film job ever I think it went pretty well. I worked hard, and it was noticed. The key set really appreciated me; I made his job easier, I was his right hand gal. And, the director of photography/president of the production company loves me and told me that he’s trying to figure out a way to keep me working, with pay! So hip hip hooray for that.

I learned so much from this project and I’m glad I did it. I enjoy filmmaking. Every day is different and I’m not trapped in a cubicle working for the machine. I hope I can find another project soon, and hopefully a paying one! I’ll work for free, I suppose, if it’s a short project, but for 3 weeks…I don’t know, man…I need cash!

I’m also in the picture, and so is my car. I’m a featured extra in one part, and it happened by accident. They just needed some people and I was in the right place at the right time so I’m in it. The film should be on TV so I’ll let you know when and what channel.